We get it—when you’ve built a successful life, you know what you want. But when it comes to love, could your standards be working against you?
Many singles unknowingly rule out great potential matches because of rigid checklists—focusing on things like height, income, or hobbies instead of the qualities that truly make a relationship thrive. The most successful relationships aren’t built on a perfect résumé; they’re built on deep connection, shared values, and mutual respect.
Here’s what lasting love is actually built on:
- Authentic Connection – A true bond that goes beyond surface-level qualities.
- Shared Values – Similar beliefs, goals, and visions for the future.
- Emotional Compatibility – The ability to understand, support, and care for each other’s emotional needs.
- Mutual Respect – Treating each other as equals and valuing each other’s differences.
- Trust and Communication – Being able to speak openly, honestly, and respectfully.
A Matchmaking Success Story: Julie & Brad
After 27 years and tens of thousands of clients matched in Atlanta, we’ve encountered a few who were, let’s just say… tough to please. And honestly, that’s when we’re at our best. We see what they can’t see—and help them get out of their own way.
Take Julie, for example. She was extremely particular. No matter what match we presented, she wasn’t satisfied. Her checklist was long, and her feedback was always negative. I remember asking Leisha, “What should we do with her?” Her answer? “Let’s get her married!”
Challenge accepted.
In a moment of matchmaker inspiration (and, okay, a little frustration), I popped on Al Green’s “I’m So Tired of Being Alone” and got to work. I had that matchmaker feeling—the one you can’t ignore. I sent Julie out with Brad.
When her feedback came in, I braced myself. Sure enough—she thought it was another “miss.” His shirt was too tight. He drove a Ford Explorer. He lived in the suburbs. But when I pressed her on how the actual date went, she admitted: he was handsome, intelligent, and fun.
Then I read her Brad’s feedback:
“Julie is quite possibly the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met. There’s real chemistry for me, and I can’t wait to see her again.”
She went silent.
It was a turning point. Brad saw the best in her. He saw what we saw. And more importantly, he felt the connection she almost talked herself out of. Six months later? They were married.
So here’s our advice:
Ditch the checklist. It’s not getting you the result you want anyway. Start focusing on what actually matters—connection, compatibility, shared values, and the potential for something real, deep, and lasting.
How to Break Free from the Checklist Trap
When you feel yourself getting stuck on a checklist item, pause and ask yourself:
Is it important… or just attractive?
(And yes, it’s okay to want attractive things too. Just don’t confuse them with what really counts.)
Let’s put it in perspective:
- Does driving the “right” car make someone a better partner? No.
- If he’s 5’10” instead of 6′, will he be a more devoted husband or father? Nope.
- Does being blonde instead of brunette make someone more loyal or loving? Absolutely not.
- If she’s not into sports, does that make her less of a match for you? Still no.
So here’s the big lesson:
Stop sweating the small stuff. Focus on the connection. The laughter. The feeling that says, “Wow… this could be something amazing.”
Ready to open your heart to the unexpected?
We’d love the chance to meet you and help you explore a more personal, meaningful way to find a great relationship.
🧡 Twice The Advice from Leisha & Lisa – Atlanta Matchmakers | Dating Experts 👯♀️